And Wednesday, here we are again! Errmygoosh thank goodness! How are you? Living your best life? Looking at every day as a gift, and a new day to be that much more awesome? It has been a whirlwind over the last week and a half for me (okay, the last 2 months), and, finally, I feel like I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel – St. Maarten in t-minus 2 days (yes, this photo is me in my happy place). Yes, I am surrounding myself with a life built for me, and the very topic of today’s blog post. FYI: If this post seems all over the place, well, it may just be and I hope you will go with it just like I did.
I have chatted about this on social media, and I feel that this has been the story of my life over the past however many years too The holistic doctor, Dr. Ariane Cometa, I work with shared the following with me at one point – “I am wondering if you are simply not sleeping well enough with the stress response your nervous system has been through in the last few years. That fight or flight response that was kicked in during the early years of your separation, divorce, starting a new company, finances, etc. has compounded with more stressors, and you are just plain tired!
Let me switch gears just a bit. Some words of wisdom to share – “Be true to you. Express how you feel, as you feel it. Don’t let the fear of rejection discourage you. Remember who you are and what you want for that next chapter of your life. And just have a little freaking fun at the same time.”
And I need to practice what I preach. Three things that I have a very hard time with – putting my needs first, the fear of rejection AND being vulnerable. Nothing new I am sharing, and nothing that is helping my health issues either. I tend to “hold it in,” tackle whatever is thrown my way (on my own), only show emotion to myself because I don’t want to look weak, etc. I, also, worry too much what people think, how they are feeling, what could I do better, what did I do, did I say something wrong, etc. Silly, I know, but that is how I seem to be programmed OR, honestly, has become a learned behavior. Trust me, these are all things that I work through every single day, and the same ones that I have been figuring out in my current relationship too.
In the words of Michael Singer, author of “The Surrender Experiment,” it’s about “acceptance, acceptance, and more acceptance.” Learn to trust, go with the flow, and let certain shit go.
Over this last month, my business partner and I have had LONG discussion about the “Janine Serio” and “2 Health Nuts” brands. It was a where we are with it, the future, what is the next step, do we just focus on “Janine Serio,” etc. It’s tough having these kinds of meetings. This year, while there has been growth in so many areas, there has been a HUGE financial backseat that has been taken. I don’t want’t want to point fingers but Covid has been a major PIA.
The feelings of “I cannot keep doing this anymore,” “I am passionate about what these companies bring to the table but so frustrated,” “I have needed to take on 2 additional jobs/sources of income while we continue to build,” “what is going to give,” and I am sure you can fill in the rest. I share all the time that, yes, getting pictures done on a weekly basis, and trying out the latest places for food and wine, is wonderful, but it is a LOT of hard work, time, and emotional energy that goes into it, for not a lot in return right now. It is the whole “pay to play” game, and going into a whole lot of debt in the process. Yes, another bandaid I had to rip off with my boyfriend.
While money does not buy happiness, it does buy a sense of security; something I have not had, ever, personally or professionally. Okay, I take that back. Personally, I was secure in my childhood days growing up in such a tight-knit, loving family. Fast forward to today while I am not looking to be a millionaire over night, I just want to be able to lay my head down at the end of the day and feel like I can breath.
Again, do I believe in ALL of this? Wholeheartedly! Do I know it is going to pay dividends in the long run? I really do! Do I want to lay my head down every night, not feeing anxious, nervous, and being unable to sleep because I am not sure when I will get my next paycheck? To say that would be AMAZING is an understatement!
Just as Michael Singer states, “you need to look at life in a radically different way. What if you were surrounded by a life built for you – not by you?” And here-in lies the on-going struggle – I am letting my own thoughts, and other’s, dictate instead of me just “going with the flow and accepting” each relationship and situation as they come.
“Let go of the personal reactions of like and dislike that form inside your mind and heart.”
“Look to see – with clarity – what is being asked of you by the relationships/situations unfolding in front of you.”
And this is where my blog post is going to wrap up. These are the very statements that I need to ask myself; questions that will provide me the strength to stop being “controlled,” continue to trust & let the universe deal me the cards as it was meant to be. I have a wonderful, healthy, and LOVING family, an amazing boyfriend of almost 10 months, and world of possibilities in the palm of my hands. Yes, a life built for you.
Life can be complicated. Life can be messy. But it’s life. It’s beautiful and constantly evolving.
Don’t you agree – why not surround yourself with a life built for you?